"how to say that you can't be there right then for your person with anxiety"

I see many of these "how to be there for your person with anxiety" posts, and they're important and helpful and I may post one tomorrow.
But what I never see is a "how to say that you can't be there right then for your person with anxiety." And that seems silly, but its frightening.

I know its scary for my people to think about leaving me in a weak moment, and I know for a while I wouldn't have handled it well.

But this is important:

People are people. They can't/won't always be there. BUT it ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT mean they love you less.

So I'm going to write that list. So when you or someone can't be there, they know how to say it to us sensitive/ anxiety prone folks ;)

PSA. Only say things that you mean. Period.

1. Be bossy. Often times, when I'm panicking, I cannot make logical and productive decisions on how to help myself, thus, telling your person that you'll be back, BUT in the mean time they should... (read a specific book, listen to a specific album, write a story for you to read, write a letter to themselves or someone else, watch a specific movie or tv show...etc) Be specific, be bossy, check back at some point when you can.

2. Tell them what you're up to. Personally, I love feeling like I'm a part of my people's lives, and even if I'm not doing so hot and they can't be there, them wanting to tell me why not makes me feel like it isn't my fault, a thought that most likely would not have ever popped into my head otherwise.

3. Tell them how much you care about them. They know you have a life, and they don't want to get in the way of that, and even if you can't talk or help them through something, an affectionate word portrays the fact that you do care, even when you cant take the time to actively show that.

4. Ask them to do something for you. Don't forget that they can be caring people as well, and that might even snap them out of their funk.

5. Send them a funny picture/video. If you can't take the time to be there for them physically, a funny video/picture can show them that you want them to be happy and that you do care, and that you thought of them.


Honestly, there are many simple ways to show someone that you care about them even if you don't have to the time to be there for them at the moment.

The bottom line is that we all have needs and sometimes our people's needs will clash with ours, and that's ok. We all just need to remember to be caring and compassionate and there when we can be, because we all have needs, and we all have struggles.