I feel like an idiot saying this, but here it goes.
I freaking hate seeing the cutesy posts about how "having a person in your life with mental illness means being ready to hold them tight and cuddle them whenever they have an episode. Cater to their need of being alone by knowing exactly what it looks like when they need space..."
That is shit.
First of all, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE UNDERSTOOD, and every human being needs comfort sometimes. These are not exclusive to those with mental illness.
Second, those with mental illness do not need to be coddled. There isn't an exclusive list of things to do when your friend isn't doing so hot. Absolutely do what you can and ask them what they need, but not everything is cured with a hug and a motivational speech.
Listen, I'm not shitting on anyone's coping mechanisms or saying that people who have slagathor as a constant houseguest are invincible and don't need you, because we do.
But in the way that people with allergies need you to know where their epipen is. And the way that people with bad eyes need glasses.
We need normalcy.
Which is sometimes hard to give when you're trying to feed someone something they'll die from. We get it, no one can know everything that causes another person pain.
Personally, I hate being tiptoed around. My anxiety and depression doesn't mean that I'm fragile.
The bottom line is that every single person wants to be understood. No one wants to get hurt. No one wants to do anything wrong.
But that's not how the world works. People go into anaphylactic shock. People lose their glasses. These things don't make them less of a person, sure you try to help them and love them, but you don't treat them like less of a human.
People have bad slagathor-ruled days. It does not make them less of a human.
So the next time you exclude your anxious friend from that party invite, or don't stop yourself from suggesting that your bud with depression stay home from that sad movie, or think for even a second that your friend with mental illness is fragile and less than, slap yourself, and ask if that pain makes you less than human.
Love, do not coddle. Understand, do not overprotect. Be considerate, without jumping to conclusions. We are all human, with our own types of slagathors.
